Bobs Family
by Nick4120
Summary: This is a character i made. to see more of him, check my deviantart gallery.


Bob's family (WARNING: The jackassery you are about to witness will feature booze, drugs, and sexual references. If there are any small children around, please. Read this aloud.)

(Also: I dont give a flying fuck if you are offended by any of this. Deal with it)

" Hey Bob."

Bob woke from the couch to see Kirby holding some piece of paper that was crumpled up.

"It says your invited to a Party.." Kirby said.

"NO!" Bob instantly said.

Bob directed his attention to the TV.

Kirby looked at him "Why not?"

Bob looked at Kirby. "My family will be there celebrating my sisters success. ANYTIME I go to a family get-together, my parents always ridicule me just because I'm nothing like my older sister."

Kirby looked in awe. " Ok, at first, I'm surprised you have a family, now you have a sister?"

Bob sighed. Then he went to got a book. Then he opened it. In it, he flipped to a page with a Photo of him as a kid. Next to him was a small purple unicorn filly.

Kirby looked fucking befuddled. "What the f- is that Twilight Sparkle?"

Bob looked at Kirby with unfriendly attitude.

"Yes. She was always the GOOD one. She was always the SMART one. She was always the NEAT one. Mom and Dad ALWAYS talked about her in a good way. Whenever they talked to me it was about something I did."

Kirby sat there, trying not to laugh.

" So... Your part pony? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And your name is "Bob Sparkle?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" kirby ROFL!

Bob looked at Kirby in a pissed off attitude.

"Yes, Unfortunatly. And if you must know, my full name is "Robert Nikolai Sparkle"

"That's still funny." Kirby said

Bob looked at him in a I-Will-Fuckin-Stab-You-If-You-Don't-Stop-Laughing attitude.

"ok, sorry." Kirby said "But let's still go."

Bob looked at kirby "Why?"

"I wanna take pictures of celebrities and most likely the cast from your sisters show will be there." Kirby said.

"No."

" I'll give you 3/4 of the pay I'll get."

Bob Sighed. " Fine."

At Ponyville Library

Twilight was on a phone. "Your coming, Bob?"

"yeah!" Bob said.

"You... You do realize that the reunion is here at Ponyville, right?" She said in concern.

"Im already on a plane flying there." Bob said.

"Wait, how?" Twilight said. "Doesn't a phone call tinker with the planes computers?"

"Well..."

The call between Bob and Twilight stopped

" Bob?" She asked.

Twilight then heard a loud crash.

" Damn. He's here."

In the ruins in the plane crash. Bob and Kirby got out with no scratch. Everyone else was burning alive.

"so what now?" Kirby asked.

"We head to twilight's."

Bob began to walk, but Kirby stopped him.

" Uhh, what about the people? Arent we gonna help them?"

"why?" Bob asked.

" maybe because you caused this..."

"let them pay for my mistake." Bob "They're the ones that made that dumb rule for me to break."

Bob then walked away from the wreckage.

"But... What... Aren't you... Fuck it." Kirby said.

Kirby began to follow Bob. Bob then knocked on Twilight's door.

" Coming." Twilight said.

She answered the door and sighed.

"hey bob. Come in."

"so how's my successful sister doing?" He asked as if he gave two shits.

Twilight smiled. "just fine! My show got approved for a second season! How's that celestria-awful project you and your old friend were working on.

Bob looked at twilight with an unpleasant attitude.

" we had to cancel it because Pichu killed himself after P&b8. Thanks for reminding me... Is mom and dad here yet?"

"no, their plane couldn't land yet." Twilight said. "They have to stay in the air because SOMEBODY caused a plane crash."

Kirby looked at Twilight. "Isnt it "Somepony"?"

Bob turned to kirby. "she's talking about me, dumbass."

All of the sudden rainbow dash flew in threw a window. "Hey twilight! How's-" she immediately stopped when she saw Bob. "Bob..." she said with attitude.

"Dash.." Bob replied in the same tone.

Kirby then bursted out in laughter. "Holy shit! You and Rainbow Dash?"

Bob glared at Kirby. "For a grown... What ever you are, you certainly know a lot about the show."

Kirby immediately stopped laughing.

"Let's just say that we were in a little bumpy relationship..." Bob said.

"A LITTLE BUMPY?" Rainbow Dash flew right into Bobs face. "You got drunk on my birthday, you got high on our anniversary, you threw up on my mom on HER birthday, and then you left me without. A fucking. TRACE!"

Kirby looked nervous. "is that why you became a lesbian."

Dash immediately turned her attention to Kirby. "For your information, Bob started that damned rumor!"

"QUIET!" Twilight yelled through a magic spell that amplified her voice. "Of you two don't behave, I'll separate you! Got it?"

"But.."

"GOT IT?"

"Yep." Kirby said.

"Fine.." Dash said. "But Bob keeps a good 100 yds from me. And if he get closer than that, I'll sonic rainboom his ass!"

"Thats hot." Bob said.

Within two seconds, Bob got a Black eye, and lost two teeth.

"Hay, Twilight," a familiar southern voice came from Applejack as she walked in. "ah heard a ruckus. What in tarnation-" She immediately stopped after seeing Bob. She then Kicked him with her hind legs. "YOU!"

Bob crashed in a pile of books. "Ow! The fuck!"

"ya the basturd that kept stealin' mai apples!" she said. "I lost thousands cause of you!"

"I needed money!"

Then Fluttershy walked in. "Twilight, I was... hoping... If you don't mind..." She then saw Bob. "YOU!" she then went evil on him and beat the SHIT out of Bob. "Your the one that opened the dog-fighting ring! Those poor dogs! You hurt them!"

"I needed to pay for the apples I took from AJ!" Bob squealed.

"HI TWILIGHT!" Pinkie Pie hollered in happiness as she walked into the room. "I was wondering what kind of cake you wanted for your-" she then saw Bob and then SHE beat him.

"Your the one who put cocaine in the cake mix!" Pinkie said I a not so friendly tone.

"I miss understood the terms of your party!" Bob screamed.

"Come on, everypony." Twilight said. "We all hate Bob." she stared at him. "Especially ME. but we need to go see Rarity about the decorations for the party." Just before she left the room, Twilight turned to Bob. "You coming?"

"I don't know." Bob said. "Do you wanna hit me like your friends did?"

Twilight shrugged and used her magic to lift a Bookshelf, then she threw it at Bob.

"FUCK! THAT FUCKING HURTS!" He yelled in the pile of Bookshelf parts.

To be Continued

(I could really give little if you were offended by this piece of idiocy. I did this just for fun.) 


End file.
